Addiction to Remission

Zen and Tao

The following is from a new book that’s due to be out November. It’s called “From Addiction to Remission.” The book is based on my own remission from alcohol and drugs. It is also based in the concept of ongoing remission as opposed to recovery.

“I am rethinking, if you will, the whole idea of relationship and what I seem to want from other people. I am happiest when I don’t want anything at all. I am at peace when I do not need your stamp of approval. I am happiest when I am responding to my world without the ongoing input of others. I am at peace when I project love instead of seeking it. When I can be honest and truthful instead of hoping others will be. I feel positive when I don’t let the moment get away from me and I don’t worry about if others are here in the moment with me or somewhere else. It feels somewhat odd and perhaps selfish, but in reality, our reference frame builds from inside doesn’t it? We don’t actually own another frame of reference in life. We are at the center and move outward from there.”

“What I am suggesting is that although we are social entities what really matters in life is the relationship that you build with yourself. Most of us use the social mirror to see who others think we are and react to that although projection tells us we are reacting to ourselves not others. This has gone on for thousands of years and I am not convinced that it has offered anything of real value. We can, in the bravest way possible, seek out the things that reflect on a deeper level which means a fearless ongoing examination of ourselves. Find the things in life that reflect the genuine me. We don’t find out what we are from other people. We can be taught, socialized, or trained into a pattern or form. But, it’s not who we really are!” – B.W

Much of my past few decades have been used seeking out the core of the genuine self. It’s been an amazing journey that continues to this second. Part of that is because the genuine self lives in transience and is always changing. So the job is never done. There is no singular self that I can arrive at and hold.

I can point to a certain direction that I have always found helpful. I am all that is left when I am willing to let go of the conditioned personality ego. That means the journey has been more about who I am not than who I am. Oddly enough I have found this message in most of the worlds religion and certainly in most spiritual paths. It’s an ancient recipe, distill oneself until there is only that which is in communion with ones self. What one finds there can be many things but the thing that finds will be genuine and clear.

I work on this relentlessly. You can too! Take whatever path and faith sustains you and seek that penetration beyond that conditioned self, find the genuine self’s truthful connection to that which you truthfully are in presence.

Be well,


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