“To receive everything, one must open one’s hands and give.” – Taisen Deshimaru
Giving is a wonderful thing. I have, then you have. A simple direct transaction. A movement from A to B. As a species you would think we would have this down, this giving thing. But what I find over and over, is it’s not giving that’s the problem, it’s letting go.
Well, some of us humans may have the art of giving down, but “I” don’t. At least my conditioning won’t allow me to just give. No wait, that’s not truthful. I like to give. It supports my ridiculous self image as this giving person. So maybe I am a giver, perhaps I have the first part of giving down. Giving, part A.
It’s letting go of what I’ve given that gets in the way. That’s giving part, B. The forgotten part. Giving is easy. Letting go is difficult and challenging. Example: Love. Humans don’t really love, they bargain. I can’t just love, I must get something back. Which negates the whole idea of loving anything. Ex 2: Trying to decide whether to give money to a street person begging, I’m always concerned about what they will do with the money. It’s a “Gift Contingent,” and not an actual gift.
Dana. We dance around a lot about DANA in the meditation community. DANA = MONEY. Evidently money is easier to talk about if we depersonalize it by calling it something else. Perhaps we’re on to something. We could find the Pali word for taxes, perhaps taxes would be easier to pay? (Of course taxes aren’t voluntary.)
“Don’t forget about DANA,” sounds so much better than, “Hey, this place needs your money.” See how undignified asking for money can be? It’s like begging. But asking for DANA, well, that’s spiritual. And weird. Dana, is a gift. Property, bread, coins, cars, flowers, meals, your time, kind words or gestures, it’s all DANA. On the Monk level Dana was often just rice in a bowl. Dana for Zen Masters could be a monastery or expensive robe. Hey, Zen masters have to make a living! So, technically speaking, at Sundays sittings, I could leave a cheese sandwich in the collection bowl. Or an interesting rock. Dana isn’t money, money can be DANA. But this is America, and money is god in this world.
Giving money always seems to come with a stickiness. Here, here’s my five dollars, given to you because I’m so spiritual. “Now, (here it comes) what are you going to do with my money?” Somehow money remains personal even after you give it away. For me that’s not giving, it’s investing. A big difference. One way I’m sharing money with you with an intent to control, in giving honestly I say goodbye to that which is given.
When I was a child there were times when money was “gifted.” And my thoughts would turn towards buying “fun” and useless things that I might enjoy. But it was always ruined by some giver hoping I would “Use the money wisely, and launch into how smart people save money endlessly and have big happy bank accounts. Then they talk about it until other people are jealous.
And then die without spending it.
Because they are smart and died happy, probably because they could look at their bankbook on the way out smiling in joy. And then leave all the money to someone who will use it to go on useless vacations and buy stuff. For fun. I mean it’s free money. Right?
See? The gifted has the right idea, where the gift-er is confused. The gifted no longer believes it’s the gift-er’s money.
The process of “giving with strings,” has caused war, death, destruction, and some really bad feelings. And honestly, it appears most people seem to give with some attachment and clinging, and it’s a rare occasion when someone gives and want’s nothing in return. It’s part of the practice in finding out how we operate. Giving completely, of self and things means that once given, the gift is now absent. I am no longer attached. If an action is truthful and complete, there’s nothing left.
A lot more difficult than it sound or reads.
Today, I can give, and practice detaching completely. Perhaps do the experiment, and give something to see how it feels. I’ll start easy, give DANA to the birds, and chubby squirrel.
A day of opportunities and possibilities!
Bryan Wagner
Visions of a People's Dharma 