“As for not liking people, that’s fine. I don’t really like people either. Maybe we could not like people together.” – Tricia Levenseller
Lately I’ve been noticing how true this is for me. I don’t actually “like” people. Or perhaps it’s more of a low tolerance. I wonder why?
I think it’s because I’m conditioned to be critical, and probably the conditioned personality thinks it knows things, or sees things in a much clearer fashion, and discerns the undiscernible in others. Hmm. That makes me sound like an arrogant asshole. Which is a distinct possibility, at least sometimes. As though I’m somehow superior to all others, and faintly judgmental because of it.
Lately, I’ve been doing this poll, and whenever I ask anyone about the infamous “other people” the comment always seems to be, other people are stupid. “Hey, what do you really think about people in general?” And the immediate answer is always, “Well, their Stupid, aren’t they?” Like me and the other person are the only ones who escaped stupidity and are stuck on the planet of Stupid Beings. Poor us! See what happens when you get two arrogant assholes in the same place? Attitude and Opinion break out.
But perhaps that’s not the only reason. If that’s not it, then why don’t I “like” people?
Honestly I think it’s because I listen a lot. Or maybe too much. I learned to do that as a child and then a counselor. Listen to others. And I keep having these conversations that seem to do nothing more then place me in a listening/receiving mode. As though I answered an add for “Audience Wanted.” And got the job. So I listen to what other people are doing, their opinions, tragedies, needs, wants, desires, goals, frustrations, anger, or joy all delivered as a one way informational presentation. It’s like trying to have a conversation with a television.
They walk away liking me. “Your such a nice person,” says the individual who just got done delivering a 15 minute speech on the state of their union, without ever asking a single thing about me, my life, my passions, or my want’s and desires. What they meant to say was, “Wow, you just calmly listened to all my bullshit and still seem to be paying attention. You’re a keeper!”
Lately I’ve been crossing those people off a list I keep in my head. I have a new rule. If you talk at me for more than ten minutes without breathing it’s a sign you don’t know I’m there. You would be Ok talking to a telephone pole, a human simply isn’t necessary.
I would love to have answers to this problem of not liking people. I don’t. Some days my tolerance level is higher than others. Some days I’m better off conversing with my feathered and furry family. Wordless conversation that seem to hold more meaning than ever before.
And besides, no one ever said we need to like each other, just have respect, compassion, and caring, perhaps humans are not evolved to like each other, but only themselves. Sigh.
A day of possibilities, and wonders.
Bryan Wagner
Visions of a People's Dharma 