“Love is not about attachment, it’s about appreciation.” – Dali Lama
I’m not much of a fan of the Dali Lama, or Lama’s. But I was finally fortunate enough to have a caring human teach me that it doesn’t matter where wisdom comes from, as long as you’re willing to experience it through your own prejudices. I was lucky, that’s one of the deepest teachings I ever experienced, and I think it would have been a helpful perspective when I started out on this journey. Still, better late than never, and it has kept me from clinging on to some stupid “path,” and locking myself into a container for decades. You know, “I’m a THIS kind of meditator, or I’m a THAT kind of Follower or I do THIS TYPE of meditation.
Once upon a time I wanted to be seen as a Boddhisattva. You meditators know or have heard of vowing to save the universe before yourself. It was romantic really, the idea that I was special enough to save the universe. But that was a time of heavy spiritual illusion and delusion, when I actually thought there was some kind of process to save myself and everyone. I was probably drinking heavily. And in my arrogance didn’t see that what I wanted was to be a Hero, not a Boddhisattva. There appears to be some confusion about this issue among us meditators, the difference between hero worship and Boddhisattva-ism. But trying to be a Boddhisattva on this planet is like being a Boddhisattva on the Titanic or the Alamo or at garbage recycling center.
I know people who really are centered in helping others, and giving more than they take and caring deeply, even though caring and then doing on this planet is a seriously uphill journey. And, although there’s more than just a few of these beings, they are sparsely sown on this world of 8 billion. And sooner or later, despite intentions, need to be appreciated. Is it a reward to be appreciated? I don’t think so. I think it’s an acknowledgment, one that says loudly, “I SEE YOU, I SEE YOUR DOINGS, I HONOR YOU FOR BEING WILLING.” Maybe a little bit of “I love you” for how you are dong that.
One summer I spent a lot of time time going from one workshop and retreat to another, all built around Cheri Huber, a Zen teacher. It was challenging, and frustrating driving around endlessly, looking for the workshop sites, getting a motel, eating, attending, sleeping, and then back on the road. It was lonely. And fulfilling. I learned more about myself than I had in a long time, because driving between sites gave me a ton of time for contemplating what I had received. Finally Cheri went back to California, and I back to Michigan.
A month later I was flying to Kripalu yoga center to do a retreat with Cheri. Checking in, I was hurrying to get situated and explore, and I recall being on the second floor looking out a window in a busy hallway, out onto an October forest scene. What an amazing sight. When I turned around Cheri was standing 10 feet away on the other side of the hall looking at me, she placed her hands together and bowed deeply, I bowed back, and we continued on our ways. It didn’t seem like much of an event from the outside.
I have projected about that experience very little. Because in those moments of bowing something was communicated that doesn’t require naming, but if there were a description, I think ghe word “appreciation” would be one of them. And love. And acknowledgement, one of two humans seeking a state of being together. It was a moment of grace. A moment of “Well, here we are.” And for me it closed the gap a little more, the distance that always exists between us humans and our fellow creatures.
Today, appreciate, appreciate today. Appreciate you, and people, places, and things. And since I know how powerful it is to be seen and appreciated, just think what an intense process I now possess. I can add to this world, simply by sharing my appreciation. I could call someone and tell them I appreciate them. Gives you chills? Doesn’t it?
A day of unfolding in the rushing waters of time and life, and today will have moments of joy and love, if I’m willing.
Bryan Wagner