“A burning passion coupled with absolute detachment is the key to all success.” – Mahatma Gandhi
I try to find quotes that at least point towards the blog, and this one seemed fine. But after reading it a few times, I’m not so sure, because I don’t believe in absolutes or ideals existing in an impermanent universe.
Absolute detachment? So where does the “burning passion” part kick in? Does it only show on the inside? Hidden way down deep where only I know? So the theory is, I can be intensely passionate on the inside while showing nothing on the outside. Inside I’m laughing, crying, screaming, frightened, isolated, confused, and I don’t have a clue as to why the universe unfolds the way it does, I know nothing. Or I can be in an exquisite joy, and show nothing.
Outside, I often look like I know what I’m doing and am self-assured. But, that’s only because I started performing when I was a young teenage self-obsessed musician and am relatively comfortable in front of people. Note that doesn’t mean I’m happy and relaxed, it means I can be the focus of attention without imploding. At least for a while.
The other thing is, I live in a universe of process and patterns, not content. Content is this everyday stuff flowing, process is how the flow of stuff flows. Processes change very slowly, content changes every second. In grade school I discovered people and animals have patterns, and the patterns told more about them than the changing content that formed the patterns. I’ve been told it’s a primitive holdover from past evolutionary states, and most animals live far more by patterns than specific content.
I’m a monkey when it comes to living and embracing processes. And a child struggling to understand content in the human world. And living mostly in process is not the most comforting of perspectives when most of the world is focused on content.
To be absolutely detached would mean to live a discorporate life. To be intellectually in the world but not of the world emotionally and physically. But to care deeply requires a body, intellect, emotions, and moods and most importantly an awareness of how intensely woven into the universe my every experience is, and realizing there’s nothing I can do to “detach” from my juicy, messy, evolving, freely flowing life. I am my emotions, moods, streaming thoughts, and the bodies sensations. All of it. One part doesn’t detach from the others. I cannot uncouple my emotions from my streaming thoughts. It’s a package. I can’t separate and isolate the engine of a car and still expect it to run like a car. I can’t isolate passions and feelings, be absolutely detached, and still live as a human, being.
This is why I’m not a big fan of spiritual memes. They are mostly ideals disguised as opportunities and pathways. In fact most of the commercial spiritual world is made up of ideals in disguise. And thousands of teachers endlessly encouraging people to do the things they can’t possibly do themselves, if they want to be a Human in the act of Being.
I think I’ll remain this bag of chemicals and electrical interactions, with streaming thoughts offering all sorts of weird little thoughts and stories, and emotions that waylay me constantly, up and down, and back and forth. I am this complex mass and mess of interacting processes, all woven together, making up the future to feel secure, swimming in these very human seas. It’s the smart move right? I don’t actually have a choice, right?
No, not by choice. It never was a choice. It’s just what I am, another human in a state of being, getting on with living, in the deep, deep, bittersweet.
Bryan Wagner
Visions of a People's Dharma 