Only This

“Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.” Babe Ruth

There’s a bigger picture to this. The artificial fear of “striking out” in life. I was sold a lie, well, a lot of lies. About worth, about meaning, and about what it means to be human. I fear “striking out” because I was conditioned that the “game” is to acquire as much as possible, love one person wholly and richly forever, be kind yet never let anyone walk on me, and always be popular. If you don’t manage to do those things then you haven’t “made it” and have lost the game.

What I found, from experience, is that if I do none of those things, never become rich, famous, forever kind, and never understand how we all seem to know what the word love is but can’t explain it collectively, even then, nothing happens, Life goes on. However I live and experience continues the same. Life happens.

People still sacrifice their entire lives attempting to chase down the vague status of rich, popular, and happy.

Or, spend time watching how they slip into thoughts and live there, only to return to presence with attention on breath and body. And trying to find a balance between the two. They want to be kind to others, and expect nothing in return. Perhaps not very good at that, but carry the intention. And they know the world isn’t fair, but they are, sometimes And they don’t stay mad, of course would love to never get angry but are waiting patiently until they can move to another planet. Too much to get angry about here. And they know they consume more than they could possibly need, and still use plastic bags but are attempting to move away from them. They don’t recycle as well as they need to, and some days secretly don’t care. And struggle with unkind thoughts, sometimes a lot of unkind thoughts. And some people don’t like them, and they don’t like some others, but feel bad, because they still have that conditioned bullshit that they need to “love everyone” and “love conquers all.” But that would only work if everyone was sane enough to care, but they aren’t. And sometimes they end up loving the people they didn’t and hating the people they did. They don’t live in idea’s all the time, they also live in these messy, sticky, bittersweet moments. They know there’s no prize here, no golden ring on the merry-go-round, no happily ever after, or perfection, only the exquisite beauty of experience, this experience. They are a Human, Being, and love the feeling that things are just OK. In fact OK is Nirvana, it always has been.

This is no game. We can’t strike out. We can’t win or lose. There’s no where to run. No refuge from experience. No answers that guarantee. Just this amazing one time experience that’s filled with probability and probability, and a vast unknowing.

Embrace this day, for no reason at all.

Bryan Wagner

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